Ah, marriage. No science could ever help men figure out how to be the perfect husbands. However, it could offer a few insights on understanding your partner’s needs.

So, reading a book or two on marriage couldn’t hurt your chances. Which ones should you pick, though? That’s what this post is for.

It’ll give you 8 books on being a better husband to help you keep your spouse happy and fulfilled.

1. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Dr. John Gottman has been researching the foundation of successful relationships for decades. So, he knows what he’s talking about, and you’ll recognize that from the first few pages of the book.

Gottman believes that knowledge equals love. He argues that as long as you know and understand your partner, you won’t have any trouble identifying how to make your marriage better. 

That’s why he encourages the readers to be mindful of how they view and think about their spouses. In fact, that’s what the first three principles in the book are all about. 

How many times have you seen relationship experts emphasize the importance of communication? It’s not always that easy, though. Luckily, Gottman does a good job of giving you clear steps on how to create a safe space to talk without judgment or tension.

2. 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands

The name pretty much says it all. Jay Payleitner lists 52 things women want from men throughout the marriage. These include:

  • Being sane on Valentine’s Day
  • Buying two jars of peanut butter
  • Only having eyes for your wife
  • Trading the Mustang for a minivan

And my personal favorite: Never say “My mom used to do it that way.” Even if you’re not married, you can tell that Payleitner focuses on practical, down-to-earth marital tips.

At the end of the day, no one knows her more than you. You have the power to make or ruin her day. The choice is yours.

3. For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

This book isn’t just about marriage. It aims to help you understand all the women you interact with on a daily basis. How?

By helping you learn how to get straightforward answers from your wife, why listening to her talk about her feelings is difficult, whether the provider instinct is ruining your marriage, etc.

Focus on a man's hands holding a book

Shaunti and Jeff Feldhann don’t just answer these questions, though. They use numbers and statistics to convey their point. Sounds drier than a dessert, right? Don’t worry. The book comes in a simple conversational style that anyone can digest.

4. Husband on Purpose

Have you been working hard to keep your wife happy and satisfied? You probably think you’re an exemplary husband, don’t you? I hate to break it to you, but things might not be as good as you think.

You see, a lot of men fall into the trap of loving their wives in their own way. And that’s a recipe for relationship distress. You want to love your wife the way she wants/needs.

That’s exactly what Conrad Deas explores in Husband on Purpose. He offers personal insights from his once-crumbling marriage and how he managed to turn things around.

He also provides practical tips on improving your communication skills, working toward personal growth, and having self-discipline.

5. This Is How Your Marriage Ends

The title is a bit pessimistic, but Matthew Fray isn’t joking around. This Is How Your Marriage Ends is a product of his failed marriage. So, you know his insights are coming from a real place.

Fray covers the underlying issue of why so many marriages end in divorce, which is that men aren’t taught the necessary skills to have a healthy married life. He even draws examples from his previous marriage, owning up to the mistakes he made back then.

With clear writing and the right amount of humor, he helps you learn to be appreciative of your partner and more perceptive of their feelings.

6. His Needs, Her Needs

As the name suggests, Willard Harley explains how fulfilling your partner’s emotional and physical needs is the most effective way to build a successful marriage. Why should you trust this random stranger?

Well, Harley has been a couples counselor for decades, so he knows a thing or two about building healthy relationships. He starts the book by listing the five basic needs for men and women in marriage.

Then, he goes on to explain how these needs are the foundation of any relationship and that they can make or break your marriage. Yes, it sounds a bit generalized, but he also provides practical tools to help you identify and fulfill your partner’s needs.

7. The Course of Love

The Course of Love has a format unlike anything you’ll see in the previous books. That’s because it’s more of a novel than a non-fiction book. What does that mean?

Alain de Botton builds his book around Rabih and Kirsten, two partners who fall in love and get married. However, he uses their marriage, arguments, and day-to-day lives to offer intriguing insights into love and marriage.

His main point is that people have allowed an unrealistically romantic version of love to take over their minds. Ironically, that prevents them from realizing the hard work that goes into staying in love.

He also encourages couples to use counseling as a means of creating a safe space for both partners to express themselves freely.

8. The Five Love Languages

Even if you’ve never been interested in reading books on marriage, you’ve probably heard of this title before. It’s not particularly about marriage, but the ideas Gary Chapman explores will benefit anyone in a relationship.

Man and Woman Holding Hands

Chapman argues that each person needs to be loved differently. In other words, each person has their own love language.

So, you might think you’re the perfect partner, but your efforts could be in vain because they don’t appeal to your spouse’s love language.

For example, you might think doing the dishes is a great act of love, but what your partner truly needs is a hug or words of affirmation. So, Chapman provides several tools and exercises to help you identify your partner’s love language and build a fulfilling relationship.

In Closing

There you go. 8 books on being a better husband. Of course, reading alone won’t magically turn you into the perfect spouse. You have to apply what you read.

You also can’t expect all of these books to be a good fit for you. After all, each approaches relationships from a different angle. So, don’t be afraid of reading several books and trying various methods.