If you have have an active dating life that you thoroughly enjoy, by all means keep it up. But many men can – and do – benefit greatly by taking a break from dating.
Perhaps you’ve been wondering if you should take a break from dating. Only you can make that decision. But this article should provide some food for thought.
It stands to reason that men who read dating blogs, enroll in dating courses, and hire dating coaches do so because they want to improve their dating skills. And many do improve their dating skills.
Some become so remarkably skilled at dating that they experience the kind of romantic lives about which most men only fantasize. After all, most quality dating coaches – like Dr. Robert Glover, the author of Dating Essentials for Men – don’t teach their principles for chuckles; they teach them because they work.
Still, even if you do it consciously and effectively, dating can be time-consuming, expensive, and emotionally draining.
For a lot of men, dating can lead to negativity and resentment towards women. It can lead to a distaste for the dating process itself. And it can get in the way of other important things in life.
Personally, I consciously cycle on and off from dating. When I’m in an off cycle, I don’t even think about dating. Regularly taking a break from dating can be incredibly healthy, even transformative. Funny enough, it can also make you more attractive to women.
I know lots of other men who consciously cycle on and off from dating, and find it extremely beneficial.
Single men – especially single Nice Guys – tend to have illusions about being in a relationship. They notice all the couples in the world and assume those couples are blissfully happy. If you have this tendency, let me assure you that most couples are not as happy as you think they are.
Almost all the relationships you’re observing will come to end, likely in the near future. This may sound negative, but it’s reality.
Many men also think they must be in a serious relationship by a certain age. And if they’re not, they better double down on trying to find a partner. This too is a false assumption.
We are not all on the same path. There is no magical age by which you need to settle down. You don’t need to settle down at all if it’s not what you want.
So, if you’ve been actively dating and you feel burnt out or frustrated, or you’re not enjoying it as much as you once did, take a break.
Learn to be in and appreciate the now. Work on what Dr. Glover calls your Great Cake of a Life. Spend time with other men. If you don’t have good male friends in your life – if you’re lonely – make solving this problem a priority.
A woman is never going to complete you.
If you think a woman will complete you, if you make a woman (or trying to find a woman) the focus of your life, you’re going to be miserable. And when you do meet a woman, you’re going to make her miserable.
THE BENEFITS OF TAKING A BREAK FROM DATING
There are a host of benefits that come with taking a break from dating.
Foremost, taking a break from dating will help you let go of any built-up resentment and negativity towards women. Modern dating can be supremely frustrating, and negative experiences can accumulate. Yes, this is a reality when navigating today’s dating landscape.
When negative dating experiences accumulate, many men fall under the spell of the Red Pill community and other men’s movements. Or they just become bitter. Don’t let this happen. It doesn’t serve you to walk around with built-up resentment.
When you consciously take a break from dating, you’ll learn to enjoy yourself and your own company. It’s perfectly okay to have quiet nights alone. In fact, it’s healthy. After all, you can’t truly love someone else until you love yourself.
Additionally, you’ll have more time and energy to focus on your Great Cake of a Life – your friends, your hobbies, your passions, your physical and emotional health.
Ultimately, you will get so much benefit from taking a break that when you consciously decide to start dating again, you will feel wholly refreshed and revitalized.
“We often mistake the feeling of loneliness for needing for a partner,” says Dr. Glover. “But actually we’ve lost touch with ourselves. Learn to be comfortable with yourself. Aloneness is normal. You need to enjoy your own company. Embrace your alone time as an opportunity to be creative, to pursue your passion, to cultivate your interests, to spend time with guy friends. Seek an adventure, not a woman.”
THE IRONY OF TAKING A BREAK FROM DATING
When men take a break from dating, not only do they reap all the benefits, they often discover the irony of it all.
There’s a good chance that when you’re consciously taking a break from dating, you’ll end up meeting some of the most interesting women.
(Dr. Glover often shares that his two most recent long-term relationships began when he wasn’t actively seeking a partner.)
Indeed, taking a conscious break from dating to focus on the other parts of your life can unexpectedly lead to exciting relationships with some amazing women.
Just because you aren’t proactively dating doesn’t mean you can’t walk through the doors that open up in front of you.
If you want to master dating and relationships with support from an amazing tribe of men, Integrated Man University is just a click away. Get lifetime access when you join today!
Tony Endelman is an author, blogger, entrepreneur, certified transformational life coach, certified No More Mr. Nice Guy Coach and the founder of The Integrated Man Cave.