Dating advice for men used to be shrouded in secrecy. There weren’t many dating books for men. In order to find dating advice, you’d have to venture into the dark corners of the internet. You’d have to troll forums and seek out blogs filled with strange lingo created by so-called Pickup Artists. You’d have to risk being found out and subsequently labeled a creep.
Things aren’t so secretive anymore. Men are openly consuming self-help material in massive quantities. Because men want to be better. Men want to be better at dating and better at relationships. Men want to have better lives.
In some ways, dating has gotten harder. In other ways, it’s gotten easier. But there’s no denying that the modern dating landscape can be tricky to navigate. It can also lead to a lot of frustration, negativity, and resentment.
Fortunately, there’s no longer a shortage of dating advice for men. There’s an entire section at the bookstore dedicated to dating and relationship advice. But how do you sort through noise? How do you know which dating books are worthwhile and which aren’t worth a crap?
Keep it simple. Don’t overwhelm or overload yourself with information. These are the 6 best dating books for men. (And these are really all you need.)
THE 6 BEST DATING BOOKS FOR
NO MORE MR. NICE GUY by Dr. Robert Glover
Dr. Robert Glover, as you probably know, is an internationally recognized marriage & family therapist, a dating & relationship coach, an educator, a public speaker, and a pioneer in men’s self-improvement. Perhaps no other book has impacted the lives of men as profoundly as No More Mr. Nice Guy.
No More Mr. Nice Guy isn’t technically a dating book. In fact, Dr. Glover wrote a dating book called Dating Essentials for Men: The Only Dating Guide You Will Ever Need.
You might expect Dating Essentials for Men to be on this list, and that’s understandable. It’s a fantastic book. And it’s solely about dating. It’s got “Dating” right there in the title.
Nevertheless, No More Mr. Nice Guy tops the list because it is the ultimate guide to becoming a more confident, more authentic, more resilient, and more attractive man. Before you even begin to master the art of dating, you need to master yourself (which makes you attractive to women).
There is nothing wrong with being nice to others. It will serve you well to go through life as a decent human being. But being a “Nice Guy” as Dr. Glover defines presents a host of problems. In fact, Nice Guys aren’t actually nice. They are fundamentally dishonest, manipulative, and immature.
- Nice Guys often struggle with boundaries and have a difficult time saying “No”
- Nice Guys constantly seek approval and validation from others, rather than trusting their own instincts.
- Nice Guys operate using covert contracts – unspoken, unconscious agreements with the people around them.
- Nice Guys suffer from toxic shame. They believe they are not okay just as they are. Subsequently, they hide parts of themselves and avoid doing anything that might cause someone to react negatively.
There’s a reason No More Mr. Nice Guy is so groundbreaking. It is a must-read for any man who struggles with confidence and assertiveness in their personal and professional lives. It offers an honest take on masculinity and relationships, and encourages men to embrace their authentic selves rather than conforming to societal expectations.
If you can overcome your Nice Guy Syndrome and become a more Integrated Man, there’s no question that your dating life will improve.
HOW TO BE A 3% MAN by Corey Wayne
Coach Corey Wayne is a life coach who primarily helps men with dating and relationships. His video newsletter in which he answers reader-submitted questions has made him popular on YouTube. He’s also garnered a following through his website, UnderstandingRelationships.com.
Though he uses a lot of the “Alpha Male” language popular in the manosphere, Coach Corey dishes out a lot of sound advice. And none of it is rooted in anger, negativity, or resentment towards women. He clearly loves and respects women. But he’s not shy about calling out the women who “belong in the streets.”
How to Be a 3% Man is a comprehensive guide to understanding women and succeeding in the dating world. It covers both the dating world and long-term relationships. The book teaches men how to meet and date the type of women they’ve always dreamed of. It’s filled with actionable advice. And it’s easy to see why Coach Corey has such a loyal following.
How to be a 3% Man is based on the idea that only 3% of men know what the hell they are doing with women, while the rest are left wondering what the hell they’re doing wrong. Corey Wayne’s goal is to help men become part of the 3% by teaching them the skills and mindset necessary to succeed in the dating world. Key takeaways from the book include:
- Women will chase you if you give them the space to miss you by not chasing them. Men who chase women get rejected because chasing is a submissive, needy behavior.
- Men tend to operate on logic and reason while women tend to operate on emotion.
- Women are like cats. They come and go as they please. Similarly, dating is like tennis. Hit the ball over the net and wait for them to hit it back. Otherwise, you exhibit desperation and neediness.
- If you want to attract women, you must have a fulfilling life. There’s nothing attractive about a man with no life.
Coach Corey Wayne – much like Dr. Glover – isn’t shy about discussing his own failures in dating and relationships. Not until he decided to do something different did he figure out what works. And thousands of men will concur – Coach Corey’s stuff works.
DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T by Connell Barrett
The best part about Dating Sucks But You Don’t is the author himself. Connell Barrett is a fantastic writer who had a successful career as a journalist before he became a dating coach. He is the founder of DatingTransformation.com.
Even better, Connell is far from the stereotypical alpha-male pickup artist. He’s a goofy, intellectual, red-headed dork. And that’s what makes this book – and the advice within it – so great.
If a guy like Connell can go from dateless dweeb to confident Casanova, so can you. And Connell shows you exactly how to do it – step by step – in Dating Sucks But You Don’t, which is why it’s one of the best dating books for men. He provides exercises to help you overcome your self-limiting beliefs and fear of rejection. He proves that your looks don’t matter as much as you think they do. And he walks you through how to approach women, start conversations, banter, flirt, and ultimately score a date.
Written in a conversational, friendly tone, Dating Sucks But You Don’t provides practical advice for building confidence, overcoming fear of rejection, and developing deeper connections with women. It also provides guidance on how to find the perfect partner and maintain a healthy relationship.
- The whole concept of the “Alpha Male” is really just a debunked theory from wildlife biology. You don’t need to be an “Alpha Male.” You can actually be your authentic self – which demonstrates confidence – and attract some truly amazing women.
- You can’t truly connect with a woman until you connect with your own awesomeness.
- Authentic men are intoxicating to women, especially in a world full of liars, players, and pretenders.
- Every rejection is a success.
Again, Dating Sucks But You Don’t is chock full of strategies and practical advice. It’s the perfect book for men who are struggling with dating and are tired of the typical advice around becoming a so-called “Alpha Male.”
If you’re looking for a guide to attracting women while being true to yourself, look no further than Dating Sucks But You Don’t.
MODELS by Mark Manson
Yes, long before Mark Manson took over the world with The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, he actually spent a few years as a dating coach and wrote a little dating book called MODELS.
Manson is undoubtedly a talented writer. The book is well-crafted, funny, and insightful. But more importantly, it strays from conventional (and often manipulative) pickup advice and recommends that men be vulnerable and authentic to attract women.
It’s right there in the title: ATTRACT WOMEN THROUGH HONESTY. And if you follow Manson’s work at all, you can’t deny that he knows what he’s talking about. As is the case for almost everything Manson writes, MODELS presents concepts that are backed by heaps of psychological research.
There’s a reason MODELS continues to be a bestseller and considered one of the best dating books for men. Manson cuts through the bullshit and teaches men how to connect with women without games, tricks, or silly techniques.
- Being honest and vulnerable is far more attractive to women than trying to manipulate them with gimmicks.
- Typical dating advice and pickup theory is highly counterproductive in the long run.
- Men will have the best chance at attracting women by becoming the best version of themselves, whether it’s through physical fitness, pursuing their passions, or learning new skills.
- Neediness is repulsive.
MODELS is one of the most mature and honest guides on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. When Manson published the book in 2011, it was a game-changer. Over a decade later it still is.
If you want to have a great dating life, you first need to know how to create and maintain attraction.
Attraction is one of those concepts that a lot of people claim to be experts in despite the fact that it’s mostly inexplicable. Attraction just kind of happens. It’s either there or it’s not there, for whatever reason.
That’s not to say attraction hasn’t been studied. And that’s the great thing about Atomic Attraction by Cristopher Canwell – one of the best dating books for men. It’s a comprehensive guide to creating and maintaining attraction, and it’s rooted in psychological research. In fact, the book pulls from over 120 scientific studies.
This is not necessarily a well-known book, but it is undoubtedly one of the best and most thoroughly researched books on attraction. Understand the principles in this book (and implement them into your life) and your success in dating will probably skyrocket.
In Atomic Attraction, Canwell does a solid job highlighting the dating mistakes men typically make, while explaining why being overly nice, polite, and accommodating to women does not create attraction. Canwell shows that attraction doesn’t grow in a warm, safe, cozy environment, but in a swamp of discomfort and anxiety. He encourages men to exude strength, confidence, and masculinity – all traits that women are biologically wired to respond to.
- Women are attracted to men who are confident, assertive, and have a strong sense of purpose.
- Men should avoid being too nice, too accommodating, or too needy, as these behaviors can be repulsive to women.
- Men should embrace their masculinity and become men who can lead and inspire women.
- Men should be honest and authentic with women, and avoid playing games or manipulating them.
- Men should focus on building emotional connections with women, rather than just physical attraction.
- Men should be willing to take risks and step out of their comfort zones to attract women.
Ultimately, Atomic Attraction is a must-have resource for men who want to improve their dating lives. The book provides a refreshing perspective on attraction and dating, and it offers practical advice and strategies that you can use to become more successful with women.
The Tactical Guide to Women by Dr. Shawn T. Smith
In the introduction to The Tactical Guide to Women, Dr. Shawn T. Smith writes:
The good life isn’t complicated. Financial experts say a person of modest income can retire a millionaire with a bit of planning and execution. Medical experts say a modicum of discipline can add years to your life. Career coaches say you’ll never work a day if you follow your calling.
Personally, I think the good life is largely a matter of avoiding the biggest blunders. You’ve won half the battle the moment you resolve to live within your means and use tequila treat rather than a requirement.
But no matter how attentive a man is toward his finances, his body, and his soul, there’s one mistake that can shatter his hopes and dreams. One single error that can drain his wallet, decimate his faith in humanity, and haunt him for the rest of his days. That granddaddy of all blunders is partnering with the wrong woman.
Hopefully that’s all you need to realize how important this book is.
The Tactical Guide to Women is a must-read. Period. The book offers practical advice on how to manage risk in dating and marriage. As Smith writes, “If a man isn’t careful, he can wake up one day and realize the woman next to him was chosen by a stranger, a younger version of himself who didn’t know what the hell he was getting into.”
- You can reduce uncertainty and risk by understanding what makes you tick and why you choose certain women.
- People tend to find partners who soothe their deepest insecurities.
- Healthy women don’t want an insecure man who can’t express himself.
- Being unclear on your personal values is a very costly relationships mistake. A man must get clear on what his life is about before he invites a woman into it.
- If you want to minimize the chances of a romantic disaster, be completely honest about who you are and where you are going in life.
The Tactical Guide to Women is divided into three sections: Understanding Women, Managing Risk, and Building a Successful Marriage. Each section provides practical advice based on real-world experience. Dr. Smith is an engaging writer who uses his razor sharp wit to explain some frightening topics. Again, this is a must-read dating book, particularly if you don’t want to find yourself in a world of shit.
If you want to master dating and relationships with support from an amazing tribe of men, Integrated Man University is just a click away. Get lifetime access when you join today!
Tony Endelman is an author, blogger, entrepreneur, certified transformational life coach, certified No More Mr. Nice Guy Coach and the founder of The Integrated Man Cave.